sinking into paradise

I confess that although I have been reading a great deal, plowing through as many as two or three books a week, I haven't been drawing or painting as much as I'd like or even writing. Life is a constant social whirlwind as well as the realization that it takes some energy to get settled into a physical place, a city, and for some reason it's taking longer than usual to understand San Francisco's neighborhoods and geographies.

How can anyone live here without knowing that they are in paradise, or a strange, slightly flawed variant of heaven?

I mentioned the famous restaurant that I had visited the week before, the one that C wholeheartedly recommended and that people on the bus kept saying was worth the two hour wait. A friend from high school flew back into town, and she said that it was one of her old drinking buddies, and that she was staying with her.

We found ourselves in the sister restaurant down the street. During the heady days of the San Francisco internet boom they had both worked at start-ups as graphic designers... then when things went bust, one went to law school and the other bought the restaurant. "Damn!" said the lawyer half-jokingly, but for some reason I could see my good friend starting her own restaurant.

And it's such a different experience going to a place when the owner is hovering nearby, constantly asking how we liked the food. She fussed over where we would sit. The interior was gorgeous, modern and spare.

It was a large, talkative group that had lived all over the place and had travelled every which way. We ordered six or seven plates and I was told what went into what; the flavors exploded in my mouth. It was all about sharing tips about where to eat, because San Francisco is really, really about food, and not so much about nightlife or clubbing. Secret dining locations in the south bay were passed back and forth.

When we were finished, my friend brought out big plates of exquisite desserts from nearby gourmet bakeries. Then the owner came by, inspected what we ate and what was loved the most by our group, and I'm just beginning to realize how rough it is to run your own business, especially when it's something you're very passionate about, which is turning food into art. The two tall, strangely thin and elegant women exchanged comments. These are serious food lovers.

I tasted some Asian rice cake ice cream dessert swirled with condensed milk and I almost died and went to heaven, as stuffed as I was. It was also the first time I'd gotten so drunk on cocktails with swirls of mint. My Time Out guide says authoritatively that "If you can make it here in the restaurant business, you can make it anywhere" and that is so true!

There are such a multitude of cool ladies in this city. You don't see the tragedy in their eyes. They're filmmakers, not movie starlets; DJs, not groupies; photographers, not models. It makes me happy when people find their centers and build up from there.

A director gave us advice for travelling in our parents' countries. "Bring gifts, save up, but don't tell them you're there until the last minute." Otherwise we'd be corralled and locked into endless shopping trips and not be allowed to go anywhere unescorted. Show your love at the end of the trip, but don't tell anyone where you're going, or they'll be dying of worry, and you can just show up and show them that everything's ok!