married at 14

i remember there was this girl in my grade when I was 14 years old, and she was already married. She had a poise and confidence that was out of place in our school. It was too undistinguished a place for such a feat. Married! So young! And no creepy signs of abuse or weirdness--no bruises, no crying, no weird family history (actually we didn't know anything about her family history). just her, sitting in the bleachers kind of dreamy-eyed with her flyaway brown hair pinned back with barettes and her smart rolled up white jean jacket sleeves sitting her straight up into perfect posture.

She was glowing, radiant. yet not aloof. She'd talk excitedly with anyone who listened about her new husband, "Joe", who was about twelve years older and was a truck driver. She would pull you close to her, wrapping her fingers around your forearms so that you could see the shiny ring, and flutter, "Joe and me, we got a new couch!" or "Joe, he bought me flowers. It's so romantic!" She wore lip gloss and shone, literally, out her face, her bright white teeth flashing with joy.

She wasn't very pretty. She had squinty little eyes and a smattering of acne, but she was radiantly gorgeous in that space of time. Sitting on the bleachers and pulling her ring back and forth nervously. Everything was so new! Everything was so wonderful! Why hadn't anyone told her about all of life's little surprises waiting around the corner for her? We couldn't understand, but she didn't look to us in contempt, like other more experienced girls did. There were more waiting around the corner for us and like a wise older sister she wanted to tell us just how good it was going to be! Really!

and i think of her every time i see a new woman in love. that's how it is, how women in love like to talk to the rest of us. They have a present they can't wait to open and they want to share it all with us, the beauty of it. they bounce back and forth, swinging their hips, letting the pleasure of sex the night before push and jostle their good moods forward through the daytime.

"Oh God, man, I just didn't even know!" she'd say over and over again, shaking her head. "Nobody ever warned me. But since I didn't expect it, man, you think it feels twice as good!"